Champion of Chaos
by Seer of Chaos17
Summary: When Naruto wishes someone would really train him, he is heard by the an agent of chaos. Nothing is ever going to be the same.
1. It starts

I had been thinking about making a Naruto/AVP: Extinction crossover, and now here it is. This story takes place after the first part of the chunin exams. I plan on making a series of this so if you must criticize me, please give a reason as to why.

I do not own Naruto or Alien Versus Predator: Extinction.

Talking

_Whispering/thinking_

**Demon talking**

_**Demon whispering/thinking**_

_**Other being talking**_

_A being cloaked in shadow was watching a brightly colored ninja from a large circular orb. All around him was a dark purple smoke, giving a mysterious look to the room. Reaching out to hold the orb, it was revealed that this…person had extremely pale hands with black finger nails. "It is almost time now" said the man in the shadows._

"_Almost time for the champion of chaos to learn his destiny"_

_Laughter of pure madness filled the room_.

For the umpteenth time Naruto was pissed. Why you ask? Because Kakashi _sensei_ had dumped him off on a closet pervert who viewed him like most of the villagers did in favor of the Sasuke. '_So much for teamwork and don't leave comrades behind. What an ass' _he thought angrily tohimself. He had earlier decided to get some ramen before he met with his poor excuse for a teacher. "I just want someone to actually help me for once"

As he continued on his way passing his apartment building, he noticed a strange smoke coming from behind it. Thinking it was fire, he wasted no time getting to the place where the smoke was coming from. But before he could see what was going on he was sucked into a swirling purple vortex. His last thoughts were of the ramen he would miss out on.

=======Hokage's office=======

Sarutobi had seen many things in his career as a ninja, but he had never seen anything like this. What kind of jutsu could suck a person into a vortex and leave no evidence of the victim even being there. He already was feeling bad about Kakashi playing favorites once again, and now someone up and killed the kid. _'Minato, I have failed you again'_ he thought sadly to himself. Sitting back in his chair, he turned it so he was facing the window. He cried silent tears to himself until he felt a dark presence in the room. "Whoever you are I am not in the mood to fight. If you must kill me then do so; I have already failed at protecting the hero of this village, so just get it over with" stated the old hokage morbidly.

"_**Why would you think he is dead?"**_

Turning the chair around faster than Choji runs when you say "all you can eat buffet", the third was met with a sight that would terrify lesser men. In front of the desk stood a man wearing a sleeveless cloak so dark in color that it can only be described as abyss, a belt with human skulls attached to it that went around the cloak holding it against his body, a black hood that was long enough to mask his face. His right hand was gripping a silver staff covered in ancient runes topped with a ruby the size of a fist covered with what looked like vines coming off of the staff. The only part of his body Sarutobi could really see, however, was his arms. The intruder's skin was deathly pale, reminding him of his fallen student Orochimaru. "Who or what are you?"

With a light chuckle the figure answered _**"I am the seventeenth seer of chaos, master of destruction and bringer of mayhem.**_

Warily, the old man decided that it would most likely take some tactics to get straight answers. "What do you know of this jutsu?"

"_**Believe it or not, that was not a jutsu nor did it kill the boy. I merely transported him to my domain. "**_

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT" shouted the now enraged old man. After hearing the commotion, several anbu plus Jiraiya and Kakashi showed up ready to strike if necessary. "You have five seconds to answer sensei" said Jiraiya.

Not moving from his spot the seer continued.

"_**It is because he is one of the few chosen by the forces of chaos to best represent it. I came to this world to see which of the chosen ones would become the champion of chaos. When I heard Naruto's wish, who was I to deny him it? After learning about his background from a drunk commoner, I realized he was perfect for the job" **_said the dark being of chaos. "What do you mean by 'his background' "said Kakashi. This question only brought a smile to the intruders face. _**"I mean he is the son of two famous ninja**_(making Sarutobi, Jiraiya, and Kakashi start to panic)_**, was cursed by having one of the agents of chaos known as the nine tailed fox who was being controlled by Madara of the Uchiha clan sealed inside of him**_(everyone in the hokage's office was starting to tense up)_**, was abandoned by his godparents Jiraiya and Tsunade to live in a hell hole of a village**_(anbu are giving Jiraiya death glares while he looks down in shame)_** even though his reason is somewhat understandable, was not told why he was hated in the first place in a pathetic attempt to give him a chance at a normal life which utterly failed, is being hunted for the beast in his gut by a group of missing nin to remake a ancient monster, and from what I have recently discovered is without a suitable teacher. It also helps that he is a sponge when it comes to learning jutsu."**_

Confused, Kakashi had to ask "What did you mean by him being without a suitable teacher. I think I am pretty good at being his sen-" Before he could finish he was lifted into the air by an invisible force. He was apparently choking since he was reaching for his neck. Everyone looked to the Seer and saw he was holding his left arm out while making choking motions with his glowing left hand. _**"You dare call yourself a sensei? You are nothing more than a hypocrite. You preach about teamwork yet you always ditch your other students in favor of the spoiled Uchiha brat. You have taught Naruto and Sakura tree walking and nothing more. You also taught this to the Uchiha, as well as water walking, better utilization of his sharigan, a taijutsu you copied, and most likely you plan to teach him the raikiri, no… the chidori, am I right?"**_ After that the lazy jonin was set back on the ground. All of the occupants were glaring at Kakashi, most in disgust. "Is this true Kakashi? Do you train Sasuke more than your other students?" asked Sarutobi.

Steadily rising from the floor, Kakashi answered in his most guarded tone "Lord Hokage, I have to train Sasuke more. He has to face Gaara who will no doubt kill him without special training. Also he will be eventually facing against Itachi who will also likely try to kill him. So have I been focusing on solely training Sasuke; yes, but only because he is in more danger." The looks of disgust replaced with anger. Sarutobi however looked like he was going to kill the fool.

"_**So the ends justify the means? Your arrogance knows no bounds, Kakashi"**_

Removing his headband, Kakashi attempted to trap him in a genjutsu, but the seer started laughing. _**"Your attempt at controlling me is but a waste of time fool. And I know for a fact that your favor of the Uchiha over your other students is not because of his situation, but because he reminds you of yourself."**_ Kakashi had a surprised look on his face while the hokage simply thought "_I had thought he was over it, but it seems I was wrong once again".__** "As a seer of chaos, I have the ability to see all future disasters and atrocities. As of now, the future has been slightly altered by my actions."**_ Stepping forward, the seer looked back at the hokage and said _**"Be warned Sarutobi, in one month you will be killed by your favorite student."**_ Realizing what he meant, Sarutobi looked down in shame. He remembered that he too was like Kakashi, at least when it came to playing favorites.

"_**In two weeks Naruto will return for the chunin exams."**_

The anbu rushed in to try to capture him, but in a flash of purple light he was gone.

"This is to be a s-class secret" said the third. "Anyone who reveals it will have a long visit with Ibiki and Anko, understood?" All the present ninja nodded their heads. "Very well, my orders are to spread out and find…" Before he could finish the door opened to reveal all the jonin senseis and their gennin, and they didn't look happy.

"I'm getting to old for this"


	2. Return and Encounter

Sorry for not updating for so long, but I am a little low on motivation.

I do not own Naruto or Alien Versus Predator: Extinction.

I also don't own the song Scream, Avenged Sevenfold does

Talking

_Whispering/thinking_

**Demon talking**

_**Demon whispering/thinking**_

_**Other being talking**_

Two weeks came and went, but there was still no sign of Naruto. In fact it was now time for the second part of the exams and all the contestants were in the arena (except Sasuke, god damn Kakashi) and were getting restless. Sarutobi was getting restless as he knew many of the ninja were getting nervous due to Naruto's absence. He still remembered how people reacted after learning Naruto's burden. However he was at least relieved by the gennin's reaction to that little bit of knowledge.

=======Flashback=======

_ All of the rookie nine minus Naruto were glaring at their hokage, daring him to lie to them… again. Letting out a soft sigh, the old hokage finally spoke "Due to the current situation, I guess it is time to reveal a long kept secret." The gennin moved closer to the hokage to better hear him. Taking a long drag from his pipe, he continued to say "On October 10, 13 years ago, the nine tailed fox attacked our village for reasons classified due to the security risk. On that day, the forth hokage defeated the fox using a complicated jutsu, killing it. That story is only partly true." Sakura was confused, as the academy had told that story many times, as did her parent. Like her, the rest held the same belief, all except Shikimaru. "The fourth knew that there was no way to kill a tailed beast, no matter what jutsu he used, so instead of killing it he sealed his soul away. However any tailed beast with five tails or more can't be sealed in just anything, it needed to be sealed in a living vessel with a pure heart. Sadly, the village was short of pure hearted people and the only kind of vessel that was pure enough… was a new born baby." All of the gennin were shocked, but most of them were wondering who he or she was. "The fourth's dying wish was for the child to be seen as a hero. Unfortunately after I took up the mantle of hokage and revealing the boy's identity to the council and the civilians, the reaction was the opposite of what the fourth had wished for they had immediately called for the boy's death believing either the fox reincarnated or that the fourth's seal would break. In order to give the child a normal life I made an S-class law that the adults and all else who knew of the child's curse were never to speak of it to the younger generation, including the vessel himself. Sadly, once again I failed him, for the parents, including some of your own; spread their hatred to your generation by forbidding their children from playing with him, telling lies about the child. Also the stores began to charge him prices for top quality goods for low quality goods which included old and rotted food." The gennin grew scared, sad, and ashamed of their village. Again dragging from his pipe, Sarutobi continued his sad tale in a tired tone "The boy was cheated and lied to at every turn. He didn't know why he was hated so much that the number of assassination attempts and mob beatings he received were both in the triple digits, nor did he know who his parents were, and it was slowly killing him. If not for your old teacher Iruka, he would have surely gone insane. This boy, no saviors name is-"_

"_Naruto"_

_All eyes were on Shikimaru in looks of disbelief. "You idiot, Naruto is not the vessel. If he was then we would have known" shouted his teammate Ino. Getting over his stupor, Sarutobi asked him "How did you figure it out?"_

_Ignoring the shocked looks, Shikimaru continued "It all makes sense; the beatings, the glares, his whisker marks all add up. He was the vessel all along. I guess he made an emotional mask to hide his pain, but it is too troublesome to think about" he finished. The gennin were appalled by both the village and themselves. Their thoughts however spoke volumes about their sorrow._

_Sasuke: I can't believe the dead… no Naruto has to go through that every day. Maybe he would be better if more people had helped him._

_Sakura: My parents… they knew…and just let it happen? They called him a monster, but if he is a monster, then we are all worse than monsters._

_Ino: Oh gods, how can we have all been so cruel to him?_

_Choji: …I'm not hungry anymore… (GASP!)_

_Kiba: I can't understand it. If he were the fox, wouldn't he have killed us all long ago?_

_Shino: …_

_Hinata: If only I was stronger. I could have helped him._

_Shikimaru: The village is full of dipshits…troublesome…_

_All of them left silently, with their heads held down in shame_

_=======End Flashback=======_

Naruto was about to be disqualified from his match, which made Sarutobi worried. He was about to send his anbu to search for the boy he considered a grandson, when a scream of a woman was heard in the audience somewhere. Sarutobi looked around until he heard a sound unfamiliar to him. In the arena was purple smoke taking the shape of a short humanoid. Looking closely, he also noticed a spider like creature which had a long tail sitting on its shoulder (face hugger). The smoke creature summoned a microphone from who knows where and began to sing its creepy song.

_Caught up in this madness too blind to see_

_Woke animal feelings in me_

_Took over my senses and I lost control_

_I'll taste your blood tonight_

The smoke cleared to reveal a blonde boy with whisker marks in an open red coat, red pants, and white tank-top and black shoes. Every ninja had the same name escaping their lips… "Naruto"

Neji scoffed at him, and began yapping about fate and crap. He closed his monologue with "That's why losers like you and Hinata will never win against me. It is fate." At the mention of Hinata, Naruto's eyes turned red and became slits. Making hand signs faster than most could see, he slammed his palms on the ground and after some smoke cleared from his summoning, three red colored creatures that looked like inside out creature with no eyes that walked on four legs (runner, as seen in Alien 3). Immediately they began the jump at him and slash at him with their claws. Neji was finding it hard to block them. As the attacked, Naruto continued his terrifying song.

_You know I make you wanna scream!_

_You know make you wanna run from me baby_

_But now it's too late you've wasted all your time_

Neji was now aware of the four long, black spikes on the creature's tails, as well as their black claws and feet. Using the Byakugan, he notice a spore like substance in the black parts of the creatures which he assumed was a poison of some sort.

_Relax while you're closing your eyes to me_

_So warm I'm setting you free_

_With your arms by your side there's no struggling_

_Pleasure's all mine this time_

A fist covered in red chakra slammed into Neji's face, throwing him back into the wall. He was dazed for a moment, at least until he noticed the one of the monsters right above him clinging to the wall. The creature opened its mouth revealing a small second mouth, which shot out towards his head. He barely dodged it but was met with a second punch to the face courtesy of an extremely pissed off Naruto.

_You know I make you wanna scream!_

_You know make you wanna run from me baby_

_But now it's too late you've wasted all your time_

With each verse another punch or kick landed on the emo Hyuuga.

_Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring (crunch)_

_Cover me, unwanted clemency (smash)_

Neji now had a broken nose and a matching pair of black eyes. Pain seemed to be all he could feel.

_**SCREAM TILL THERE'S SILENCE**__ (Broken right arm)_

_**SCREAM WHILE THERE'S LIFE LEFT, VANISHING!**__ (Cracked rib)_

_**SCREAM FROM THE PLEASURE; UNMASK YOUR DESIRE **__(Another cracked rib)_

_**PERISHING**__ (Drop kick to the head)_

Sarutobi was both amused and horrified by what he saw. _**"It seems he has learned how to utilize the xenomorphs better than I expected" **_said a__voice next to him. Looking to his left, he saw the seer of chaos sitting in a chair made of human bones and skulls. "You told me that you would have him back in two weeks" said annoyed hokage. _**"I say a lot of things, but I did bring him back. Besides, you know what it is like, don't you Sarutobi, Orochimaru."**_ Looking to his right, he stared at the kazekage, realizing just who was next him this whole to. Orochimaru of course began to stand until they heard the seer said _**"Settle down you two, wait till after the final match, then hack and maim each other OK?"**_

_We've all had a time where we've lost control (Third cracked rib)_

_We've all had our time to grow (Kick to the nuts) (ouch) (author crossing legs)_

_I'm hoping I'm wrong but I know I'm right (Cracked skull)_

_I'll hunt again one night (kick to the nuts again, making all males cover their crouch including Orochimaru)_

_You know I make you wanna scream! (Brocken right hand)_

_You know make you wanna run from me baby (cracked left knee cap)_

_But now it's too late you've wasted all your time (slash from runner)_

_Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring (crunch)_

_Cover me, unwanted clemency (smash)_

_**SCREAM TILL THERE'S SILENCE**__ (demonic chakra surging out of Naruto)_

_**SCREAM WHILE THERE'S LIFE LEFT, VANISHING!**__ (Forming a single tail)_

_**SCREAM FROM THE PLEASURE; UNMASK YOUR DESIRE (**__second tail)_

_**PERISHING**__ (third tail)_

"What's going on!" screamed the third. While Orochimaru didn't say anything, but he, too, wanted to know. _**"He is using the fox's chakra, entering the tailed state. Whatever this Hyuuga did, it must of pissed him off."**_ Sarutobi remembered Naruto's oath. Perhaps he had feelings for Hinata after all. "What are those creatures, if you don't mind me asking" said the snake pedophile. _**"The creatures are called xenomorphs. They are born from eggs and emerge as a face hugger, the creature on Naruto's shoulder, and seek a host to as their name suggest to "face hug". They then inject an embryo into said host, which makes a copy of the host DNA and combines it with their own. After a period of time, the emerge violently from the host chest and depending on the host, come out as a type of xenomorphs. The particular type Naruto is using, emerges from predatory creatures such as dogs or giant insects. They are the most powerful bio-weapons in all existence. Unfortunately for you Orochimaru, they serve only chaos and the queen of their hive. Many advance civilizations have tried to control them, but every time they kill everyone and destroy entire civilizations."**_

_**Some live repressing their instinctive feelings**_

_**Protest the way we're built don't point the blame on me!**_

_**SCREAM  
SCREAM  
SCREAM**_

_**THE WAY YOU WOULD IF I RAVAGED YOUR BODY!**_

_**SCREAM  
SCREAM  
SCREAM**_

_**THE WAY YOU WOULD IF I RAVAGED YOUR MIND!**_

_**Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring **_

_**Cover me, unwanted clemency **_

_**SCREAM TILL THERE'S SILENCE**_

_**SCREAM WHILE THERE'S LIFE LEFT, VANISHING**_

_**SCREAM FROM THE PLEASURE; UNMASK YOUR DESIRE **_

_**PERISHING**_

At the end of his song, Naruto literally shoved his foot up Neji's ass and had to take his boot off since it was stuck in his ass.

"_**As my mother used to say, now they both have to go to the hospital. One to remove the foot from his ass, the other to get his shoe back."**_

Review if you would please


	3. BIBBITY BOBBITY BACON

I'm back and ready to roll! I have been inspired by my love of videogames and slight madness. I own nothing at all. Now that that has been said and done, on with the show!

**Demon/**_**thoughts**_

Human/_thoughts_

_**Seer of Chaos**_

Naruto's match ended in silence (mostly). The villagers and ninja were struck silent. Orochimaru and Sarutobi had their mouths open, and the seer was laughing his ass off. I mean how often do you see someone reenact your mom's words? The referee then announced the winner.

"Winner: Naruto Uzumaki!"

The viewers began to cheer until…

"_**That is not his last name"**_

The crowd began to look to the seer while the third was begging him to shut up. Taking a few moments to revel in the attention and to soak his shockingly small ego into the tub of the third old and weary pleas (god I love being me), he continued to talk.

_**First off… BIBBITY BOBBITY BACON **_(thank you Jim Gaffigan, for without you I would not know of the bacon to bacon space time continuum) and a plate of delicious bacon appeared in his left hand then he began chowing on it immediately getting glares from the Akamichi's in the crowd. They got angrier when he fed a strip to a runner who quickly snapped it from his hand and swallowed. This left many wondering where the bacon came from…

=======in a town not so far away=======

Tsunade had heard rumors of pigs disappearing from farms recently. All the farmers reported seeing a blinding light and the only thing left was some blood. She was not prepared for what was happening in her room.

Opening her and Shizune's hotel room, she saw a swirling vortex trying to suck in a squealing Ton-ton, whose only life line was Tsunade's apprentice Shizune holding on to the pig. "LADY TSUNADE HELP ME SAVE TON-TON … LADY TSUNADE?" the door the slammed shut.

=======back at the chunin exams=======

Not many thing entertained Orochimaru. Torture and a good fight were only a few of these things, but this man was easily becoming more and more amusing by the second. He only hoped that whatever his former sensei was begging him not to say would torment the village.

"_**His real name is Naruto Namikaze. Son of Kushina Uzumaki, princess of Whirlpool and Minato Namikaze, the Yellow flash, or in a twist of fate, the fourth Hokage, the very man who sealed the nine-tailed fox in his own son, Naruto!"**_ Almost immediately the villagers began protesting. The ninja began to put the pieces together and began to see the resemblance. Orochimaru felt like it was his birthday. Looking at the idiotic villagers, the seer quickly lost his patience. _**"YOU STUPID FUCKING HYPOCRITES! YOU PRAISE THE BOY'S FATHER LIKE HE WERE A MESSIAH, SAYING HOW NOBLE HE WAS, BUT YOU REDTARDS NEVER REALIZED NOBLE THAT DUMBASS REALLY WAS! DOESN'T HELP YOUR CURRENT HOKAGE HAS BECOME THE COUNCIL'S BITCH!" **_(Stupid people piss me off). The villagers looked to their hokage for confirmation of this new information. The old man was as pale as Orochimaru (and that's saying something). This was all they needed to realize what they had done. Uproar soon ensued, until a dark aura erupted from the arena. Naruto was covered in the fox's chakra which was burning his skin off. Now in his four tailed state, Naruto jumped and landed in the kage's box.

"**YOU KNEW…YOU…LIED…TO ME…" **said Naruto in a growling voice. Faster than the eye could see, Naruto "lightly" slashed the old man's face. Four long cuts were along Sarutobi's face as the old man began to cry tears of regret. Naruto oddly had more to say, or at least as much as one could when your skin has been burned off. **"DONE SO MUCH…YET CARED FOR…SO LITTLE. GODPARENTS…ABANDONED ME…OLD MAN…LIED MANY TIMES TO ME…SENSEI…ABANDONED ME FOR UCHIHA…PEOPLE I PROTECT…TRY TO KILL ME…MEANS ONE THING…NO LONGER PROTECT LEAF…"**

Naruto began to walk off, but not before saying **"PROTECT ONLY SELF…"**

Returning to normal, Naruto looked at the hokage and said "Just kidding, jeez can you imagine me as an emo?" This little act caused everyone to face fault (except the seer, because randomness is his past time).

Starting to feel relief, Sarutobi looked to Naruto and asked "So you're not angry?"

…

…

…

"Course I'm pissed, but he's dead, you'll soon be killed by Orochimaru, and I got business to attend to so bye!" With that said, Naruto and the seer disappeared in a puff of smoke. Naruto reappeared in an empty seat next to Hinata, who was desperately trying not to faint. The seer appeared between Kurenai and Anko with his arms around them which resulted in a very expected reaction.

**DOUBLE SLAP!**

The seer then disappeared and then reappeared next to the hokage and the now present Jiraiya rubbing his cheeks.

"_**I think I'm in love"**_ he said. Jiraiya then began to cry tears of joy in finding a brother in the holy order of perverts.

Sorry its short, just tired.


	4. A dose of irony and karma

Sorry for not updating for so long. Issues with college, family, family pets (I'm starting to hate cats), and my ever growing insanity have proven to be formidable. Did that even makes since? Fuck it; on with the story.

Also please review my stories. No responses make me sad face.

I own nothing. Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness was probably some delusional poor bastard who was in a state of denial.

**Demon/**_**thoughts**_

Human/_thoughts_

_**Seer of Chaos**_

After the brief moment of perversion the seer returned to a … form of normalcy. The gennin were in a state of shock as once more a secret of great proportions was revealed. Sakura was the first to recover (surprisingly) and asked "Are you serious. You mean to tell me he's the son of not one but TWO famous ninja!"

"_**I'm serious"**_

Kiba then said in a sarcastic tone "How many secrets does our village have! What's next; His mom was the former host of the fox and the Uchiha were killed because of them planning an uprising?"

"…"

"OH YOU HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME!"

"_**I shit you not. How could I? No I am serious, how would I shit something as big as him!"**_

Crowd: "…"

Ninja: "…"

Naruto: (thinking pose)

Pedo-snake: "(giggidy)"

Sarutobi: "Are you blond?"

"_**Yes, why is that important?"**_

"Because that just explained the whole situation"

Naruto, the Seer, and Tsunade in a random bar where it was impossible for her to hear him: **"FUCK YOU, YOU WRINKLY ASS SON OF A BITCH!"**

-Time skip to the Shikamaru vs. Temari-

"I have to fight a girl again, troublesome" said Shikamaru. "Chauvinistic bastard, why are all men sexist and stupid" said Temari.

As the match started, Kurenai, who had walked up to the railing to get a better view, nodded her head in agreement. The seer had also gone to the railing to get a better view, but unlike last time that he was next to Kurenai, he seemed a bit peeved. _**"You do realize that your both being hypocrites right"**_ said the seer.

"How so, seer" asked Kurenai.

"_**Please, call me 'Yumei' (famous in Japanese. No I am not stuck up, that is what my real English name means), and what I mean is that she just made a sexist statement about men"**_

"What statement" asked Tenten. She had come down as well to get a better view and she too agreed with Temari.

"_**Well she generalized all men as being stupid and that all of them believe that they all think women are beneath men. And don't say that its being feminist it's not. Saying its feminist is just peoples excuse making women not be labeled as such (I hope all women who think this way are paying attention. Same applies to racism)."**_

"But it's true" Said Kurenai. Tenten however was starting to see the now dubbed Yumei's point.

"_**And you are now proving my point"**_

The two girls stayed quiet.

Back in the arena: same as canon as well as the other matches until Sasuke's match.

Yumei had gone back up to his position next to the Hokage were he was approached by Naruto. After some whispering and a "You got to be kidding me" from Yumei, they got quiet once more.

What neither of them knew was that a Hyuuga elder that was enraged by Yumei's laughter during Neji's match had decided to take revenge by "accidentally" kill him. Without activating the Byakugan he did 5 successful "taps" on Yumei. For a short time he had an evil smirk that would rival Orochimaru's. He should know because he's right fucking over there! However his smile disappeared when Yumei turned towards him and asked "Why aren't you dead?"

"_**Use your Byakugan and find out dumbass"**_

Reluctantly, said dumbass used his Byakugan and yelled as loud as he could "YOU HAVE NO CHAKRA COILS! THAT'S…IMPOSSIBLE…YOU'RE ZOMBIE!"

Everyone: GASP!

"_**I was wondering how long it would take for someone to notice. I suppose an explanation is in order. The world where I hail from has little to no powers, or at least as far as I am aware of. Instead of focusing so much on powers we focus on technology. Our lack of chakra and technology do give us some advantages over you ninja"**_ said Yumei.

"Like what? I don't see how a lack of chakra and your technology give you … a …advantage…" said Jiraiya who suddenly had distant look on his

"_**I see you understand Jiraiya, but for the sake of the slower folk I'll explain. Since I have no chakra coils the gentle fist has no effect on me other than minor irritation due to being repeatedly poked**_ (Hyuugas yell "FUCK")_**. Genjutsu has no effect since it creates illusions by manipulating the chakra flow in the brain **_(Kurenai yells "FUCK")_**. Seals are cancelled due to similar reasons (**_Jiraiya, Orochimaru and surprisingly Sarutobi yell "FUCK"_**). So I would be most ninja's nightmare in combat…if I weren't so goddamn lazy."**_ Summed up Yumei. "_**Now Naruto, would you do me a favor and take care of him would you?"**_

As soon as he finished speaking, Naruto pointed to the dumbass (that will forever be his name) and the face hugger leapt on to his face. As dumbass began to fall, Naruto summoned 2 tall dark xenomorphs with long tails (Warriors or human aliens) drag him away toward training ground #44 or the forest of death as most know it as (you can see where this is going, and yes it was a praetorian face hugger). Thus marked the end of the dumbass elder. He will be missed…kind of.

After about ten minutes of this going on, Kakashi and Sasuke finally show up in the arena. "We're not late are we?" said Kakashi, but he was ignored by everyone who were still shocked that the 'demon brat' just killed the elder (well he will be dead eventually).

"Uh…hello"

"Anyone listening?"

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT!"

Naruto turned to Kakashi and said "I'm sorry did you say something?"

Time seemed to stand still, at least until all the people who knew him laughed at him (including Sasuke). Gai however was crying anime tears of joy while yelling about the 'karma of youth'.

Yumei then said _**"I love it when karma and irony work together"**_

**PLEASE REVIEW. I'M SERIOUS PLEASE, HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION?**


End file.
